Monday, August 24, 2009

First day of many...

Today was the first day...alone...without the help and other body of my mother. I guess a paycheck is more tempting than spending the entire day with a this point, I don't blame her. Can we trade? I can damn near to measuring the distance between the second floor and I can throw myself from the banister. With my luck I would just break an arm....

This is how the day played out:

6:00 am - Mom walks in our room to "drop baby off". Baby just woke up and needs to be fed.
6:10 - I roll (literally) out of bed and come downstairs to start day and feed baby. Is there coffee?
6:45 - Check facebook and make mom's lunch for the day. Including a picture of the baby and note for good luck.
7:30 - Baby looking tired - probably time for her first morning nap.
8:00 - baby not going down...spent 30 minutes trying to get her to sleep. She hit me, grabbed me, punched me and screamed in my face for half an hour...I'm ready to throw myself out the window. What time is it again? Finally she sleeps.
8:06 - Mom needs to leave for work. Frazzled to get out the door. She's taking her entire life with her, including boxes...why is this? Wave goodbye to her. House to myself.
8:15 - check email, play on computer.
8:30 - OH!!! they have free yoga classes on the OnDemand channel...woo-hoo. Let's try one.
8:40 - Tricia calls and interrupts the class. Oh well, didn't feel like it anyway.
8:45 - shit the baby is up...oh well...let's get it started.
9:00 - feed the baby. And pop in a BabyEinstien least that's baby crack for 30 minutes. I can at least clean up the kitchen.
9:30 - baby hit her wall. Screaming. Now what? Guess we'll laugh.
9:33 - tickle baby. Listening to her freaking cute.
10:00 - Baby looking tired - will she go down?
10:30 - refuses to take nap. She's TIRED. She needs to sleep. But it has to be on her time. Damn Aries.
11:00 - Baby finally my arms...she's hot...making my arm sweat. What's on TV? Only reruns of Roseanne. That could be interesting.
11:30 - Baby and I asleep on the couch...two bodies on this couch doesn't work...I have to be holding arm is hanging off the couch - I have no feeling in it. But the baby is sleeping so it's okay.
1:00 - baby awake. Finally I can move!!!
1:30 - feed baby. She's starting to fall asleep I really think I have a break?
1:40 - not so fast...too awake...alrighty then...
2:00 - 4:00 - more reruns of Roseanne...literally, this is my day.
4:00 - baby looking tired, maybe I can get her to nap.
4:30 - nope...won't nap. let's trick her with a bottle.
4:45 - it works!!! She take the bottle. And falls asleep.
5:00 - mommy gets on the scale. Shit... Need to go for a walk.
5:30 - Baby up...let's go for a walk. She'll finish her sleep on the walk.
5:30 - 6:30 - on NOT sleeping. That would be too easy. Is that a blister on my foot?
6:30 - pick up the mail. Try to hold said mail while getting a large stroller inside the house...I think the baby might have almost fallen out...whoops. But she didn't....don't call CPS quite yet.
6:40 - Tricia home. Thank Mo-Fo God... Mom not coming home tonight. We have the house to ourselves...could really use Grandma...

Guess how much I'm looking forward to tomorrow?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Baby Doctor Appt Update...

Just a quick is healthy and doing well. Has some eczema on her face and arm but the doctor said it should be okay... We've spread out her shots so that she doesn't get more than two in one sitting...we just come in once a month instead of every other month...

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, however. She's in the 95th percentile for both height and weight...could be worse. She could be short and is happy with it. She's "propotional" and that's all that matters. Tricia's ready to put her on a traveling volleyball team! :)

That's it for is asleep finally. SCREAMS every time she gets near her room - it's like she knows it's coming.

Talk to you all later. Take care!!!

What we never learned as children....

So, I've been thinking...dangerous I know, but stay with me on this one:

Disney movies and non-Disney movies, like "American Tail" and "Land Before Time" are incredibly messed up and even more so, SAD. How these movies are for children is beyond me. My reasoning, you ask? Well let me tell you...

Think about it, almost every Disney cartoon deals with parental loss or having NO parents at all. Case in point:
Cinderella - father died. Scary-ass step-mother.
Snow White - scary step-mother we see a pattern?
Sleeping Beauty - the three crazy witch ladies take her AWAY from her parents...
Lion King - father dies...sad moment...while hanging from a cliff no less! Then Simba nearly gets run over...
Little Mermaid - no mother...where's the mother? Just a billion wonder why the father carried the triton
Bambi - need I explain?
Peter Pan - about orphans...who cry for the mother...
Lady and the Tramp - Lady's parents don't love her anymore when the baby comes along and Tramp never got adopted...

I'm sitting in the doctor's office the other day with the baby and their playing Tarzan. Now, beyond the copyright issues at play in this picture, I was watching the beginning of the movie when the gorillas had their baby and they were so happy until a tiger chased it through the jungle and you can hear it screaming as the tiger killed it. I sat there with my mouth children have selective knowledge of this shit?

The Land Before Time was on the other day and because it is a beloved movie of my childhood (made in '88...Tricia noted that she was graduating high school that year...I said I was five...) I was watching it and made her watch it too. And thank goodness that the mother had already died because I don't think I could have handled it. It's bad enough it's about these five year old dinosaurs who need to find the Great Valley with no adult help...let alone having to watch Little Foot cry about his mother...ugh! And American Tail...? Do I really need to go there? Cry like a baby every time.

I won't even go into Pinocchio...probably one of THE most FUBAR Disney movies of all time...children turn into donkeys, he gets eaten by a whale, he gets kidnapped....and this is a children's movie?!

Anyway, just thought I would make note...As children we never thought they were adults, I'm sucking my thumb and rocking back and forth...Oh how times have changed...

I'm thinking these movies will be contraband in my house...

Monday, August 17, 2009

Vaccine Update...

I forgot to inform those of you who were wondering about the choice we made about vaccinations...

I never wanted to NOT vaccinate, so to speak. My only issue is that I felt that 6 shots at once, given to an infant barely capable of holding their head up let alone process foreign viruses, was too much, too many, too soon.

I did what my doctor told me to do and went to the CDC's website. Looking at different shot schedules for her age and what I call the loop-holes found within, I made her a different shot schedule that only allows for no more than 2 shots at one time - many of which can be post-poned until she's either in a daycare setting, school or both. Why give a small infant three shots at 2, 4 and 6 months of age, when you can give them one at 19 months and it's just as effective...not to mention approved by the CDC? Isn't that more rational? I wish I would have known that a newborn baby born to a mother who herself has been vaccinated against Hep B and obviously does not have the disease does not need a Hep B shot. I got mine in college...why does a NEWBORN need the shot? Again, it's not about the SHOT aspect of it. It's really not. It's about what's in the shot and whether a small baby can process it. I just think there's too many to be honest. Too many too soon. If there's a way of spreading them out with the same benefit but less risk for her and her future, then I'm gonna find it. Frankly, I think her body will process it better when there's less to deal with at once. And why is the regular flu shot not recommended until the child is 12 months or older but this H1N1 vaccine is now available for 6 months? I don't know, but I know that I will never walk into a situation regarding my child and her health ever again. I love to research too much and come to my own conclusions. It's the scientist and educator in me, I guess.

Her appointment is tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year....

As I took my walk this morning, (note: a Bjorn and 15lb baby is not easy to walk with) I went past the elementary school around the corner to watch as little kindergartners said their tearful goodbyes to their parents and their parents said tearful goodbyes to their not-so-little babies. I thought to myself how quickly time will go by before Carol is at her first day of school and how I'll probably have to miss it because, I, myself, will be at my first day of school... ugh

Can't believe how quickly she is growing up. I can't believe that only four months ago she was this little peanut who was so small and now she's kicking and screaming, eating and not-pooping... Before Carol, I could go the gym whenever I wanted, get my hair did, my toes done and take a nap whenever I wanted I can't go the gym because they don't take babies younger than six months and even when they do, they will not do the following:
1. console a crying baby
2. change a diaper
3. move her from her car seat

Then what the hell DO they do? I can tell you one thing: my child HATES her car seat...good luck there. There goes the money we spend on a gym. And diapers...well, lately we've been acting like she made a touch-down every time she poos. Yes, my life has been reduced to poop. Oh the joys of parenting.... We dance around and sing a song every time she starts to to love formula...binds them up like no other. And I love how rice cereal is recommended...they don't tell you that rice and milk is like clay in their stomachs....Yeah, we've changed to oatmeal cereal and prunes in the morning. Breastfeeding was great...however, the child went on a booby-strike and she never negotiated her terms before the milk dried up...oh well....4 months is better than nothing, I guess.

No one prepares you for the changes of motherhood. I marvel in my independence. I loved my alone time and being able to provide for myself before the baby arrived. I love my daughter and I wouldn't change a thing, but my life has created a whole new dichotomy - I don't want to put her in daycare, but I also don't see myself being a stay-at-home mother. I believe that daycare at 5 is different than daycare at 5 months...we'll cross that bridge... Where was I going...? Oh yeah, I'm thrilled that I have made appointments to go to the dentist, eye doctor and primary care doctor...I think it's because those are MY private times, you know? A way to assess my health and get done what I need to get done - like remove some funky-looking freckles, get contacts (after five years of not wearing anything), take care of my teeth and so on. It's a way of putting ME first after a year (and the rest of my life) of putting the baby first.

A year ago, I was pregnant with Carol. Can you believe it? It's been a year. I remember taking the pregnancy tests and marking them with a pen as a chronological way of making sure I was still pregnant. I look back at laugh at my neurotic behavior about whether or not the line today was darker than the line from yesterday and if it's not does that mean I'll miscarry? It makes me laugh, but I kind of miss it. A year ago this week, I also took my tumble down the stairs which left my shoulder forever tweaked...remind me to tell my doctor about that too...still can't raise it properly. Need a MRI.

I look over at my daughter sleeping on the couch and I notice her PJs (the ones with the feet on them) are too big. The length is fine, but her feet are too small. She has one foot that's bigger than the other which makes buying shoes difficult and she barely fits into newborn shoes...She's in the 75% for height, but her feet are so small. Will she be like a Barbie doll? I guess it's okay...that bitch has everything.

This is my last week with live-in help. My mom finally got a job! Of course it lands her back in LA so she'll eventually have to move because it's 86 miles one way, but we're really happy for her. These last six months have been difficult for her, but she's had the chance to spend quality and one-in-a-lifetime moments with the baby. I'm sure they will miss each other. Hell, let's not kid each other, I'll miss it. How do mom's clean or do anything with a child that demands to be held? For not living together for almost ten years, I think we did pretty well.

Monday, June 29, 2009

To Vaccinate or Not....

Since the late 1700's vaccines have been used to prevent the most deadly of diseases. Thousands of lives have been saved from the invention of vaccines and their use throughout childhood, specifically. In the 1950's and 60's measles claimed the lives of nearly 50,000 people, mostly children. Today, the disease has practically been eradicated in part due to vaccines, better medical technology as well as sanitation. Today, a new threat has emerged. Autism and other neurological disorders (ADD/ADHD and others) have skyrocketed. Many have linked them to vaccines - others to genetics. Either way, our children are being stolen from us and left void of their souls. In our age of "going green", I think it's time parents paid more attention to what we put into our children's bodies. Could this be the reason why Autism, ADD/ADHD and other learning disabilities are on the rise? The following two part series is my research on the subject of vaccinations and how I, as a mother, can help save my daughter from threats past, present and future.

Blissful Ignorance
When I was pregnant, I read every book there was on the subject of being pregnant. I could tell you, ad nauseum, the development of a 16 week old fetus and typical morning sickness symptoms. I even had pregnant friends calling for advice on whether being out of breath was normal or what the funny looking brown line down the middle of their stomach was. I wrote a birth plan that spelled out exactly how I wanted the birth of my baby to take place. I knew about pitocin, fetal monitoring and what to expect during a cesarean. After Carol's birth, her pediatrician was amazed to find out that I, indeed, was not a nurse because I was able to spill out medical jargon about her jaundice, weight and eating habits. I consider myself a researched, prepared human being - most of all, I'm moderate and extremely well at listening to both sides of an issue and coming to my own conclusions.
However, even though I was prepared for every situation during pregnancy and childbirth, I did not prepare myself to learn about vaccines. So, imagine my surprise (drugged on Perkaset and barely able to move without pain) when a nurse came into my room when Carol was but a day old and asked me if I wanted to give my baby a Hepatitis B vaccination. "Uh, I guess...." was my response. Never before did I walk into a situation concerning my child with little to no education. To me, Hepatitis B sounded like a horrible disease. I was vaccinated for it in college, so why shouldn't my newborn?

When the time came around for her 2 month vaccinations, I, once again, walked blindly into the matter. She was to receive 6 (!) shots in one sitting, including doses for her polio, whooping cough, Hep B and others. I thought, "6 doses at once, they have to be kidding." However, that was the amount. We even asked her pediatrician how he felt about the vaccine controversy. He told me that he believed that the vaccines posed less risk than the diseases from which they protect. Meaning, it was more important to vaccinate. He recommended the entire vaccine schedule and told me to look it up on the CDC's website.

When the nurse marked her doses on her shot record, I noticed how much longer her record was than mine. I still have my shot record from the 80's and Carol's is almost twice as long as mine was. Is there an epidemic of measles out there that I don't know about? Why then is there an added MMR when only 1 was given 20 years ago? If one shot protects up to 95%, why does there need to be another one? A chicken pox vaccine? Seriously? For the first time since she's been born, I put on my research cap and turned on my computer. What I found astonished and frightened me.

In the Beginning....

Vaccines have been around since the late 1700's when Edward Jenner created the smallpox vaccine. Since then every decade has seen a creation of and subsequent eradication of a major illness. In the 20's, it was the BCG shot that helped to slow down the spread of TB. In the 30's and 40's it was the invention of the DTP shot that helped to prevent diphtheria, tetanus and whooping cough - all three serious enough to make a young child very ill and/or cause death. In the 50's and 60's it was the polio and measles vaccine that helped to save thousands of children from becoming ill from the measles or suffering the debilitating effects of polio. Children brought up in the 1950's and 60's are thought to never need the measles vaccine because they were exposed to the virus during some period in their life or another - they're thought to be immune simply because the disease was so popular, someone in their life had it when they were growing up. During the 70's and 80's it was the Anthrax, Swine Flu and Hep B vaccines that came onto the market. In the last twenty years, vaccines have been improved and some taken off the market. Some have been introduced and some have been renamed. In 1983 there were 11 shots on the CDC approved shot record. Today there are over 30, most given before the child reaches the age of two.

In the last decade controversy has grown over the safety of vaccines. There has been debate in the medical community over whether or not vaccines are linked to Autism, ADD/ADHD, Type 1 Diabetes, or allergies and asthma. There is conflicting information on both sides of the issue. Many things could be said to be linked to these issues including the rise in video game use, lack of exercise amongst children and dietary changes. However, one point is still really interesting: In 1983 when there were only 11 shots on the shot record, Autism was found in 1:10,000 children. Today, when there is over 30 shots on the shot record, Autism is found in about 1:150 children. 1:13 children have ADD or ADHD. 1 in 13. Why has this number shot through the roof? A lot can explain this like maybe better record keeping, better diagnosis or simply advancements in medicine.

According to the CDC, better diagnosis and record-keeping is not the explanation as to why Autism affects 1:150 children (1:98 boys. 4:1 boys to girls suffer). If we believe (as is probably the case) that Autism was improperly labeled as "mental retardation" or "mentally delayed" than the numbers should probably stay the same, right? If there is nothing else to explain the rise in neurological disorders other than better record keeping, than the same amount of children should be labeled with some disorder and the graph from the 80's should be flat lined. But it's not. Autism is on the rise and is rising above that flat line. So it can't be better record keeping. What could it be?

The numbers are scary. 1 in 150 children are affected with Autism on the spectrum scale. It's worse for boys - there, the number is 1 in 98! It hasn't been figured out why boys are four times are likely to be autistic than girls but if I had a son, I would be researching every reason to avoid it. More children this year will be affected by Autism than AIDS, Diabetes, and Cancer combined - and yet, it receives the least amount of funding.

But, okay, okay, how does this relate to vaccines?

Mercury Rising

Vaccines are live or dead forms of a virus or bacteria that are injected into or swallowed by an individual. The small amounts of the virus or bacteria will then invade the host and our bodies will go to work to fight against it. Because it's usually a small amount and usually a dead form, the individual does not get sick, but rather memorizes the virus, thereby learning to attack it if it were to invade the host again. According to the CDC and FDA, vaccines are made with preservatives to keep the shelf life of the vaccine longer and prevent contamination from multi-use vials (source FDA). According to the Centers for Disease Control's website, in 2008, the following vaccines had these (amongst others) ingredients in them:
DTaP (Diphtheria, Tetanus, Whooping Cough) - aluminum, thimerosal (mercury), formaldehyde
DTaP/HepB/IPV (polio) - aluminum, formaldehyde, monkey kidney tissue
Flu Vaccine - Thimerosal, chicken kidney cells, egg protein, MSG
MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) - chicken embryo cells, cow cells, MSG
Polio - Formaldehyde, monkey kidney tissue, newborn calf cells.

But, okay fine, we eat things every day that contain MSG and the FDA would not allow such things as mercury to be in vaccines if it were dangerous....

The FDA noted, "Under the FDA Modernization Act (FDAMA) of 1997, the FDA conducted a comprehensive review of the use of thimerosal in childhood vaccines. Conducted in 1999, this review found no evidence of harm from the use of thimerosal as a vaccine preservative, other than local hypersensitivity reactions." (source, FDA ) Yea! They didn't find any connection to mercury (Thimerosal) hurting the kids...! But oh wait... "As a precautionary measure, the Public Health Service (including the FDA, National Institutes of Health (NIH), Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) and the American Academy of Pediatrics issued two Joint Statements, urging vaccine manufacturers to reduce or eliminate thimerosal in vaccines as soon as possible (CDC 1999) and (CDC 2000). The U.S. Public Health Service agencies have collaborated with various investigators to initiate further studies to better understand any possible health effects from exposure to thimerosal in vaccines." Question: If Thimerosal was proven not to hurt babies and infants during routine vaccinations, then why are so concerned with immediately removing it?

The FDA further notes, "A weak association was found with thimerosal intake and certain neurodevelopmental disorders (such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) in one study, but was not found in a subsequent study. Additional studies are planned in these areas." Well, I hope so.

Currently, I'm reading a book titled, "Evidence of Harm". In it, the author sits down with multiple families who have been affected by Autism. These parents had fully-functioning, healthy children and soon after their second MMR vaccination, they saw a rapid decline in their child. The book goes into detail their struggle and plight to get Thimerosal taken out of vaccines. They are to thank for the change in vaccines today. But their fight isn't over. It still does not make sense to me why (in 26 years) the amount of vaccines have almost tripled in size from 11 to over 30. We have better medical technology, better eating habits and still the need for more? What ever happened to letting the body do what it's supposed to do... (but that's a WHOLE different saga).

Generation Rescue is a non-profit organization that Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey run. Recently, they conducted a survey through a non-profit survey company comparing vaccinated children and un-vaccinated children in California and Oregon. Many are skeptical of the link between Autism and neurological disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism and, Aspbergers). The rationale to finding out if there is a link would be to simply do a survey and see if there is a correlation. Are as many unvaccinated children afflicted with Autism or ND's as vaccinated children? "We surveyed over 9,000 boys in California and Oregon and found that vaccinated boys had a 155% greater chance of having a neurological disorder like ADHD or autism than unvaccinated boys." (Source: Survey )

A Mother's Dilemma

The numbers don't lie. Nor do I discount a mother's intuition. I would know it if something were different with my daughter and I would work my life to finding out the cause of it. Why is the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) so up in arms over this issue? Why won't the CDC pay to conduct their own survey like the one that Generation Rescue conducted? If vaccines play no role in the rise of these disorders than simply comparing vaccinated and unvaccinated households will help the show the proof. But they won't do it. This is scary. Children are dropping like flies (so to speak) and the medical community is not looking for answers. They're blaming it on genetics (if that's the case then why was there not this many 20 years ago).

I'm not saying don't vaccinate. I think that vaccines are useful at preventing communicable disease. But surely small infants don't need 30 vaccines in two years? Why six at once? Why a second MMR vaccine when the first one gives 95% immunity? Why the chicken pox vaccine when it's not that terrible of a disease if monitored (as any parent would do like the flu or cold)? Doctor's won't provide me this information - only that the CDC recommends these amounts of shots. I'm not ignoring those numbers. Even though I have a daughter, autism and ND's have affected girls as well (80% of cases are boys). They are not immune (ironic, isn't it?).

I have many more books to read and I'm not done with this research. But we are injecting poison into our baby's bodies and not paying attention to it. We'll go out of our way to buy organic, but not look into what is inside of vaccines. Kind of like eating a Big Mac with a Diet Coke.

Parents are finding that Autistic behavior and symptoms, from the lack of eye contact, withdrawal, head-butting, arm-flapping and GI problems mirror mercury poisoning. Wait, where did we see mercury? Oh yeah, in Thimerosal... One shot doesn't necessarily make a difference but the 6 my daughter received can surely make a difference. Now multiply six every two months for the next four months and more at 12 months and again at 18-24 months. You saw the ingredients taken from the FDA's website. Formaldehyde, MSG, chick embryo and mercury. Never mind the fact that vaccines produce millions annually for the pharmaceutical companies... It's a business.

History of Deceit

In the 1950's women were routinely x-rayed while pregnant to make sure their hips were wide enough for delivery. In 1974, the Journal of the American Medical Association said that x-rays have been proven to cause cancer and abnormalities in babies born to women who had this done (Source ). We've all heard of how the tobacco industry never wanted to admit that smoking caused lung cancer while people were suffering from the disease. It took years for them to make that relationship public. I remember being told not to eat anything with hydrogenated oils in it long before the campaign to eliminate trans fat became "vogue". Point being, when something is important, people will not give up. If there was not a cause and effect relationship between autism, ND's and vaccines, it would have been debunked years ago. But too many children are being affected and too many parents are standing up. It's our history of Americans to be told one thing only to find out years later that we were led down the wrong path. I can say with certainty that in 15 years or less we will look back at vaccines of today and kick ourselves for not demanding healthier versions long before.

Stay tuned for the 2nd installment...more research to do....


Located throughout the blog in hyperlink format.

"Immunization Timeline", July 2008 from,, retrieved on June 30th, 2009.

A partial ingredient list from Vaccine Excipient & Media Summary, Part 2, Excipients included in U.S. Vaccines, by Vaccine. Downloaded 11/08 from:

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Princess Fart-a-lot

Well, it's been another week...and another week of a very gassy baby. What gives? We've tried three different bottles, the surplus of which clutter our cabinets in what little space we have left for the baby supplies and we've switched formula from regular to soy, hoping that would help. I'm not quite sure it has. We've spent $15 for a bottle of Gripe Water which is supposed to be this wonder drug of a concoction but has yet to really work. Oh yeah, and if we were to use it at every feeding, that $15 bottle would last probably a week. Hey, if it worked, I wouldn't care if it was more...

We've been supplementing with formula since she's been born because she had jaundice in the hospital and they told us she should eat as much as she can...hard to do when your milk isn't it, so they gave us some formula. Plus, we thought that she would sleep more during the night with the formula...So, we decided to give her formula at night for all of our sakes. Little did we know this superior formula from the hospital was giving her gas. During pregnancy, companies are all too happy to give you free stuff, especially formula and I'm not talking a little baggy of formula either... I'm talkin' the full on cans. So, I started collecting them and had about five different formula cans by the end. Low and behold one of them was soy!!! So between the changing of bottles and switching to soy her gas problems should be solved right? Um, yeah, no. That would be too easy. Motherhood isn't meant to be that easy. But we found a decent bottle that seemed to help with the gas and we assumed the soy would have to help somehow...maybe it was...but something else was lurking around that distracted us from the actual problem at hand - the fact that her farts smelled like a dead animal crawled inside of her and died!

My beautiful, perfect child could now put any frat boy to shame with her farts... Holy moly... And they're not silent but deadly ones either...Oh no...they vibrate the couch and little wiffs of it comes out of her diaper slowly so you have to endure the smell longer than should be legal!

Regardless, this has been our life. However, she IS starting to sleep more at night, only waking up twice before 6am usually, which is great...!

Last night I came to a simple (yet with my mommy brain it wasn't so clear until now) conclusion: stop the formula and exclusively give her breast milk. Duh! Maybe it's the formula...breast milk is the easiest to digest and sometimes formula isn't, even soy. So, last night we started breast milk exclusively. It's not like it was keeping her asleep longer so why bother. Hopefully that'll help.

Oh another milestone (remind me to add that to her calendar): we took her out of the bed and put her in the pack-n-play. We were expecting a bassinett from someone and we never received it so we're using the pack-n-play. She did really well and it allowed us to sleep without worrying of rolling on top of her...Now, I just have to worry about her smothering herself in the pack-n-play or choking and my not knowing it...I guess the worrying never stops.

This morning, another epiphony: if we take out formula, that'll help, but what if we only use bottles half the time? What if I could finally get her to latch on and breast feed during the day. There's no air coming out of me (that I know of ) so maybe that'll help. Well, to my surprise, she actually did it. I used the shield I got in the hospital, which is plastic so it'll feel the same as a bottle and not piss her off too much. She totally went to town... I'm still figuring out the process and different holds, but maybe that'll help. I certainly have nothing else to do during the day so why not spend most of it with a baby on my boob until we both get it under control? Maybe that'll help...

oh yeah, and did I mention that the grocery store had her soy formula on clearance for $7.50 a can (half off) and I bought four? Too bad we're not using formula anymore...

2 packs of Avent bottles - $40
1 Playtex bottle - $5
6 Dr. Brown bottles - $30
4 cans of formula - $30
1 bottle of Gripe Water - $15
Relief from crying and atrocious smelling gas - priceless.

Until a new adventure,